ARGUMENT

I had gone in the course of argument with "nasty" people after a long long time. I normally avoid collision with people where I know that I can be knocked out any moment (including my wife and 6 year old son). I leave it as it is and I'm sure that I'm not buying the story - if they believe in their own story, let them.
Few days back I got not only one, but two such mauka (chance) to put myself in uncomfortable zone.
One was my yoga teacher - I think one of the best teachers I met in my life as far as commitment and dedication is concerned. I was doing classes with her for almost one year, and it was highly enjoyable session that I used to look forward - three days in a week - Monday,Wednesday and Friday mornings from seven to eight. And so many days (actually nights) it happened that I went to sleep at 2o'clock and even then I joined the classes next day. (And I had a big complaint against those who missed the class as they had to travel for two yours in traffic the last night !!! -- huh, what a bogus crap it can be).

The second one was with a person whom I highly admire for the contribution he makes for our society - but there is a "but". According to him whatever is "right", that is "right" - no one can argue on that.
Anyway, I really enjoyed both the sessions :)).

I was talking to my wife and son that when I was kid, I fought with one friend and blood was coming out of his mouth. I was around 10-12 years at that time. And after that I don't remember any such incident.
Good that I can enjoy arguments even now !!! ((LET ME ENJOY))

I AM LOVE

I was expecting this will happen one day - I'll do meditation and the "reality" will show up - and in that moment, I'll get in touch with LOVE.
Last couple of years I was in that expectation - what else do I do so that I can get in touch with self and love. And in the process I was actually cutting all communication with all and getting secluded in life.

Last weekend I was in communication course and my expectation was that I will see how to listen and be one with others. The first surprise was that it was about love and affinity and nothing else and the promise was that love is a function of communication.
When I came out of house on Monday morning and driving through the highway, I got in touch with that part of mine which declared that all relationship that I've with all is love and nothing else. And dust was sitting on top of that, so I did not experience that till date.
With this experience, I just had to say " I LOVE YOU" to create my world. And now the new reality is "I AM LOVE" and anything else is dust particle stopping that sunshine to come out.

Impact of Recession

The interesting topic now-a-days in the office premises and outside is about the economic downturn and economic recession in giant economics.
It all started with the news that Lehman brothers declared bankruptcy . My job is neither in financial industry nor I'm in the USA - so why should I get worried about this ?
(A good joke on Lehman brothers:
US President George Bush: I am saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman Brothers. My thoughts go out to their mother as losing one son is hard but losing two is no doubt a tragedy.)

Then it started one by one - and in few days my organization also came out with the news that the impact on our business is huge and with a decreasing dollar value how it's killing us.

Initially I did not get the maths in this. When I got that when we've quoted any product for Rs. X (thinking $1=Rs.40 in August time frame) and getting actually 80% of $ value (By this time $1=Rs50), it really hit me hard. It's very difficult that we can sustain in this kind of scenario.

By next 2-3 weeks people started talking about this and the trend I saw is that everyone started thinking about the worst possible scenario and getting scared in their life - as if this has already happened and true for them.

(I also found that this is the way we live our life - let there be any situation and we're scared about the worst possibility and that really eats us up).

This is the time when I found where I'm actually living my life powerfully. There is no imagination, no positive thinking, there is no day dreaming that everything is going great. I could see myself grounded on what it is in reality. If my job is going on, if my family is happy, if my kid is happy and joyous - this is what I've right now. I don't know what may happen in future - whatever will happen will happen. Nothing can stop it. Then why to worry about that.

There is this grounding that is really making me happy and living a tension free life.

Not the mind

Today I was doing the most loved section of the yogasan session - Yoganidra. After an hour's sweating session, I really needed that break. Today even after the Suryanamaskar, our teacher did not allow us to have sabashan - we're standing eyes closed and regained the breath.
In the Yoganidra I had a different experience than other days. My experience till date was to take my mind from one limb to the other and get the awareness of that portion. Today what happened during this period was my whole body along with the mind was lying in the floor, and something else was watching the limbs - it was not the mind. I did experience that my body has actually melt down in the floor and something was going to all the limbs and seeing those portions.

Being a vegetable

This is what I experienced and wrote to someone dear:
I wanted to share that many a times I ask the question to myself whether I've become a vegetable !
I can see that what other people are doing is being "normal". But as my wife says that in almost all situations my face is "expressionless".. I don't know what to expect out of life. I don't know what goals to put in front of me. I don't know what "visions" will inspire me. Some moments I really get jealous of what other people are getting - but that too does not last long and not inspiring for me to achieve. I don't know whether I'm running out of life. I really feel so much out of the world.
I'm at a juncture where I really don't know what I'm up to !

Fifth level of consciousness

I got an article on consciousness and what I found really took me away - I'm pasting that, hopefully something new is available for you also:

One is now on the threshold of the fifth level: Nothing ever happened. It is all a dream, a universal dream. This universal dream is Maya or Divine Hypnosis that has us all spellbound into thinking that all that we see in the waking state is real. Just as a master hypnotist can make a group of people believe whatever he suggests, so can the Divine Hypnotist have us believe that the waking world is real, just like a movie that we see in the theater appears to be real.

The shadow is real because it can be seen. It is unreal because it has no independent existence. The manifestation is real because it can be observed. It is unreal because it has no independent existence of its own. It is merely a reflection of the Consciousness within itself. In this level the understanding is that Consciousness is all there is. Consciousness has scripted the movie, produced the movie, is playing all the characters, is witnessing and experiencing the movie and the movie is happening on the screen of Consciousness.

This movie is already made, is already there, already complete for all time and cannot be changed. It is only unfolding frame by frame on the screen of time and space. If your role in the movie is to think "I have free choice" then so shall it be. If your role is that of a 'protector' or a 'serial killer', then so shall it be. And if your role is to accept that "I am only a mind-body organism programmed and destined with no free choice or will and that everything is God's will", then so shall it be. The only thing is that a character who has realized he's only a character does not care any more for enlightenment or freedom.

Small Enough

How often can you remember that in the background of your mind there is a voice speaking that "I'm small, I can't do this or that"?
If I remember, all the times I get this message saying that I'm not good enough to do what I've never done, or even if I've done. This is a natural tendency of human being, to insult self.
If the words that I use for myself was ever spoken by other for me, may be I would have done murders. In spite of so much insult to myself, I take that as a jewel in the crown and justify myself for being small all the times.
But now-a-days I have got the string when this conversation begins - and as soon as I catch that, I can simply throw it away.
I hope I can keep this practice alive.